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Who wouldn't want to ♥♥♥♥ a blobfish? I'll tell you who wouldn't want to ♥♥♥♥ a blobfish; people who have ♥♥♥♥♥♥ a blobfish.
Sure, it looks enticing, a surfaced blobfish what with its pouty face and honker's nose, hoo how with its soft, squishy flesh and a little, non-threatening fins, boop bogga zoop dogga doop with its innocent nature and trusting eyes. It wants to be ♥♥♥♥♥♥. That's what it looks like its made for. It's a ♥♥♥♥ fish! That's what everyone who has ♥♥♥♥♥♥ a blobfish told themselves. It's what I told myself before I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ a blobfish, but it...
Gaahh.