Italian Spiderman is a masked, horny, fat guy who likes to drink some macchiato. When he doesn't know what to do, he'll just blow the ♥♥♥♥ out of everything in order to solve the problem. Many random battles happen throughout the movie which make no sense but they're ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ awesome. The most lethal weapon that he has is his mustache. One thing to remember is that Italian Spiderman always gets all the girls in the end because he is just that sexy. This movie may be one of the best movies ever made.

All of his weapons miraculously never run out of ammo until he has killed the amount of people he wanted.

Remington 870
Cleans a room full of noobs in under 30 seconds after one round of Blackjack. -->Watch

Beretta 92FS
Italian Spiderman can shoot and kill snipers that are miles away from him with just this weapon.
-->Watch

Mustache
His mustache is thrown at an enemy like a boomerang of death. -->Watch

Hands
Great for hitting women and the hands are powerful enough to punch off limbs too -->Watch

Aerosol spray and Lighter
Italian Spiderman uses this during a snake encounter to defeat Captain Maximum's pets. He's kinda Macgyver but much much better. -->Watch

Conch Shell
Calls for killer "PENGUINI" to attack hot chicks in scuba suits. -->Watch


"Rispetti le donne!" - Italian Spiderman
"Shut your mouth ♥♥♥♥♥cat e fammi un Macchiato, Pronto." - Italian Spiderman
"Jesu Christo un coccodrillo!" - Italian Spiderman
"Penguini!!!" - Capitan Maximum
"I was just doing some Science." - Professor Bernardi