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What's erotically even remotely interesting about that? Let me tell you about traits that make porn actually good.
Anime (especially if it includes saitama and his beautiful head)
Food, I get hungry watching porn and want ideas for snacks later
Screaming of any kind. The louder the better, make my eardrums bleed. I want the people on the train to give me looks of concern
Danger is hard to find but makes it so much better. Have you ever watch a porn with the actress hanging over a shark tank? I bet not
I've got to get back to good porn, while you virgins watch your porn that's the equivalent of listening to Nickelback.