Congratulations to Mr. Nepos for saying that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. That undeniably wins the prize for being the most combative and unforgiving thing I've ever heard. Before I get to the main points of this letter, let me issue a couple of disclaimers. First, I indeed dislike Nepos. Nepos is a soulless, ill-bred smart aleck who wants only to do everything possible to keep stuporous cumber-grounds brazen and vulgar. Second, Nepos unquestionably dislikes me. I don't know why. Perhaps it's because I've said in the past that we must drive off and disperse the poxy beggars who oppose the visceral views of 98 percent of the nation's citizens. This is a terrible and awesome responsibility—a crushing responsibility. However, if we stick together we can can show the world that base-minded, beastly stool pigeons are somehow fascinated by Nepos's discourteous diablerie, just as a dove is sometimes charmed by a glittering serpent. Unfortunately for such people, Nepos labels anyone he doesn't like as “officious”. That might well be a better description of him. Finally, in case you missed it, what I've really been alluding to in this letter is a queasy combination of revolting incompetence, base insidiousness, cameralism, and ignorance. All of these characteristics are embodied in Mr. Nepos, and they all make a strong statement about how Nepos confuses being sorry for doing something wrong with being “sorry” for getting caught.