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็ฎไฝไธญๆ (Simplified Chinese)
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Nope, you've never ever jerked off to angry birds.
None of that ever happened to you. You were not a 13 year old boy who got turned on by angry birds. You are an adult who is trying to find ways to pass the time. This whole story is a figment of your imagination, a product of your boredom. It's not real, and it never happened. You actually live in your mom's basement, working on a degree in computer science. Your real passion is playing video games and writing code. You have a normal sexuality, and you don't jerk off to animated characters. Get a grip on reality and stop wasting your time with these childish fantasies.