this guy is ♥♥♥

YOU'RE NOT INTO ASTROLOGY

No, you’re NOT into astrology.

I’m so sick of all these people who think they’re into astrology. No, you’re not. Most of you are not close to being into astrology. I see some of these people saying “I know all my friends' sun signs!” That’s nothing, most of us know their rising, their Chiron, and all of their sacred geometry and retrogrades. I see people who only know their big three and claim to be into astrology. Come talk to me when you can recite your entire composition of conjunctions, trines, sextiles, and transits then we can be friends.

SUN SIGN ASTROLOGY. IS. NOT. REAL. ASTROLOGY. Put down baby's first astrology lesson and start working on reciting all of your friends' and families' birth times by heart.
Imagine thinking you’re ACTUALLY into astrology.

Sincerely all ACTUAL astrologers

¶ Do not stay alone in the same room with a girl you've once rejected her sexua| advances or relationship offer.
She might accuse you of r.ape.

¶ IF your wife gives you food after you guys finished quarrelling, give the food to the kids, wait for about 3 hours before you eat.
IF she doesn't want the kids to eat that food, there's something in it.

¶ When physica||y attacked, do not underrate a womaπ.
Defend yourself as you would against a man.
Playing the "Mature man" card might land you in a casket.
It is better for her fami|y to mourn then yours.

¶ IF she has too much uncles and cousins, she's definitely getting piped by them.

¶ Do not invest or build any woman you're not related to. Do not be a sponsor to any womaπ, with the aim of marrying her.

MEN MUST SURVIVE.

About 2 months back I was cranking one off into the trash can. I overshot onto the floor and needed a minute before I could clean it up. I think y’all know where this is leadin… Before I could get to it, my cat got to it and licked it all up. After that every time I went to crank off the cat runs over and meows like crazy. So I finally just started cranking daily into a small dish for him and boy I’ll tell you, his fur is shining and he’s been the happiest cat ever

i'm a professional Weeb $hitposter I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Weeb Forces, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on 4Ch4n Normies, I have over 300 Viral Memes all over the internet, a PHD in weebery and Animemes knowledge and relevance, i also studied the Dimensional theory from Stiens Gate and debated it against steven hawking's studies of the dark matter, gave those casual scientists a taste of ANIME, I Can Be Anywhere, Anytime, For i have mastered the Art of ninjutsu after watching the show known as naruto for over 420 times and after observing every single move, act, hand sign, breath, the characters do i was able to actually unlock my chakra gates and now i can use ninjutsu at ease, i've also managed to learn breathing techniques as shown and demonstrated in demon's slayer and now i can use the breath of sun with no issues what so not, i've also mastered the japanese language solely through watching anime,So you better watch out for me losers.

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hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

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After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.

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