erm... what the scallop

EPIC COLORS(PATTERNS BEGIN TO APPEAR HERE):

-Ruby:Obtain a condom and nut inside it

-Sapphire:Nut inside the ocean 4 times in a row

-Emerald:Nut at school 35 times -Gold:Nut 2,000 times

-Silver:Nut while ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in the shower.

-Diamond:Nut on 20 inanimate objects

-Pearl:Nut 2,500 times

-Platinum:Charge up your ♥♥♥ for 50 days and let it rip on day 50 on a toilet seat

LEGENDARY COLORS:

-Woodland MARPAT camoflauge:Nut while wearing the same colors as your surroundings at exactly 6:54 PM MST.

-Bloodied:Have blood ♥♥♥ out instead of ♥♥♥

The rest are unknown as of now.

"Awesome girth" -reddit user NineApesAmongUs. "As big as big chungus" -ign user I♥♥♥♥NinjaTurtles10. Outstanding reviews on this user.... yet he has yet to reply to my unusual offer....Its been 3 years since he hasn't responded and I'm currently hiding in the insides of crates in the army base I was enrolled at. Needless to say I thought I'd be able to gain more money from attacking third world countries but alas this just doesn't pay the bills for my gambling addiction. I'm sending you this message on my perc30G internet and I only have 2 minutes left. IF YOU COULD PLEASE (PLEASE WITH SUGAR ON TOP) respond to my offer to give me enough cash to flee the country you would be a lifesaver (not like the candy, but in a literal sense).

:)C

Happy cakeday bro

BIRTHDAY POG

POGG :OO