Recent reviews by CharmHole

Rocket League 2

Absolute garbage.

I'd say it's unreal that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ could allow this trash to exist but here we are and there they go. Tirelessly pumping out refuse, copy-pasted gameplay and mechanics with extra rubbish tacked on. That this series had any evolving qualities speaks to just how bad Valhalla plays, two steps forward and five steps back. Delayed combat, FORCED combat (no assassinations lmao), poor response time in said combat and cheap bull feces while your character glitches and slides in and out of what you want to do, something that didn't happen nearly as much 5-10 years ago which is somewhat of a marvel to see how far they have fallen.

Odyssey and Origins were tight, beautiful, clever and concise. Valhalla seems like it was made by interns trying to cheat on the midterms and getting a passing grade when they should have been expelled. Much like Batman Origins to the Arkham Trilogy, you can practically smell the difference right way--that something is not right and it stings your face to trudge through it. Irrevocably poisoned. We know this as Ubi's stocks have fallen lower than the faith they once had to make a fun product. I would say this game is tragic but there is no grief to be had for these trash peddlers. I wish for axes to be thrown into the hearts of the "people" that had any tangential touch of the making of this landfill of data and arrogance. That they would charge anything to slog through this swamp of sulfur is quite honestly evil and, as a white man, I find this "game" to be incredibly racist toward me and my ancestors.

Burn it. Burn Ubisoft to the ground. They don't deserve hatred, we deserve justice. For Valhalla.

I have to remind myself to blink.
You are now blinking manually.

What's funny is that modern games with homages to retro games often fail, thankfully, to properly represent just how frustrating they were to control. LUNACID fails in this regard but it's a good fail. Because the homage is finely tuned and the aesthetic is perfectly pleasurable. I say it's funny in the psychotic, no sleep kind of subversion-of-reality comedy, not the pie in the face funny which games have such a hard time capturing the latter witch is fine. LUNACID proves this. An alternate-reality, alternate-history kind of game where, in the year 2224, will be confused with actual PS1, Windows 95 first person action RPGs, of witch there were very few. I give this game five out of five moons.

That's my secret, Cap.
I'm always gaming.

Art Direction? Check.
Animation Direction? Check.
Sound Direction? Check.
Gameplay Direction? Skull Emote.
Gameplay Quality Assurance? Skull Joke.

I can see why so many people are playing this.

Honestly very disappointing. So much charm muddled away with mid tier gameplay elements all crammed into it to see what sticks. Makes me feel bad that American Corpos own Nippon. Feels like a love letter to Barron Trump but the love got embargoed and destroyed. RIP Shinzo Abe.

My autistic friends got me into this and now I have the autisms.

Shamefully overlooked, controls and camera could be a bit better but otherwise it's flowing with soul and soulslikeness. Pick it up on sale and play it on your steamdeck when ur takin a dump on company time.