Signed by H0ward

I just have seen your stream and wanted to say that I thought you were super adorable. you don’t know me at all and i know it’s kinda weird. I just thought maybe it’d be fun to roleplay with you as your online gf maybe? I know you’re straight. I’m a boy that’s why I was saying roleplay.. this isn’t a troll. again, I know it’s really random and weird. I’m sorry. It would just be a fun online relationship - nothing serious and I could donate to you and your stream and support you and just be here

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big if true

It’s always CS:GO, but do you ever CS:STOP and talk to your friends and family? They care about you and it’s important to maintain good relationships in life with those close to you. You don’t realize what you had till it’s gone

Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance
Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance Sir Lance.





TLDR; I wanted to say Sir Lancelot

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It’s always CS:GO, but do you ever CS:STOP and talk to your friends and family? They care about you and it’s important to maintain good relationships in life with those close to you. You don’t realize what you had till it’s gone

You defeated me in pvp fairly and exquisitely. Right now, you are the more skilled player between the two of us, from your reads to your strategic offence plays, and I have no regrets. While temporarily frustrated at my defeat, in the end, I feel a great privilege to have experienced such a close game and I look forward to training harder now that I have met someone with your skill set. Stay strong king, and let our next battle see me a more formidable opponent so that I may give you an experience to the likes you gave me today

A lot of people say that Pokimane is not really a talented streamer but she's famous. A lot of people say her success comes from looking good and i'd agree with them and some of these people say her success comes from her personality and all the time she's spent streaming and i'd also agree with them. The thing is I think i'm in love with Pokimane and I think she's super pretty, talented, amazing, beautifal, funny, and smart. I want to make Pokimane my wife and wake up to her next to me every morning. I want to please her in every way I can just to see the smile on her face. Every time I think about waking up next to her , it makes me so happy and so in love with her. I think she has one of the most beautiful bodies on this earth and I would like to see her with my own eyes every day.

Her smile , her charm, her charisma, her laughter, her tears, her thoughts, her feelings. I want to share everything with this women that I've fallen for. I don't care that people are going to say that I have no chance with her it's fine but thinking about being with her makes me happy so why is it so wrong to have that. If you guys want to make fun of me for liking Pokimane that's fine but I'll always love her with everything I have. I want to be with Pokimane through life , through death, through thick and thin, through sadness and sorrow, and everlasting happiness, I want to be there. I know i've already said this before but I'll say it again make fun of me for falling in love with Pokimane but you'll never break the love i have for her.

I, an atheist, accidentally said “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”
You read the title, I just cannot believe I said the “g” word on accident. Am I even an atheist anymore? I don’t like religion or anything but like maybe it infiltrated me and is manipulating me to say “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”. Please guys it wasn’t me, I didn’t mean it. I’m very disappointed in myself, I think I need to go to science camp or go to therapy. What if I’m secretly religious? what should I do? Is my foreskin going to fall off?? Please can someone give me advice, any advice is appreciated.

Oh my god. Your comment was so unbelievably funny that I cannot physically stop laughing. My vocal cords are vibrating so violently that I’m throwing up blood. My throat is producing so much sound for so long that parts of my spine have shifted out of place through the sheer vibration, causing me indescribable pain. My entire body from the shoulders up is visibly shaking due to the sound I am producing. My lungs are running out of air by the second. My entire body is screaming in pain. Anyone to see me in this state would assume I’m having a horrible seizure. The laughter reverberating in my ears has driven me to madness. The sheer hilarity of your comment, the pure and untainted comedy that you typed with your holy fingers blessed by the Lord has thrown me up the stairway to Heaven and delivered me to death’s door. I am well and truly dying laughing.

Did ye e'er 'earrr the tragedy o' darth plagueis the wise? I thought not. It be not a story the jedi would tell ye. It be a sith legend. Darth plagueis been a dark lord o' the sith, so powerful an' so wise 'e could use the force to influence the midichlorians to create life... 'e 'ad such a knowledge o' the dark side that there 'e could even keep the ones 'e cared about from dyin'. The dark side o' the force be a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. 'e became so powerful... the only thin' 'e been afraid o' been losin' 'is power, which eventually, o' course, 'e did. Unfortunately, 'e taught 'is apprentice everythin' 'e knew, then 'is apprentice killed 'im in 'is sleep. It be ironic 'e could save others from death, but not 'imself

How’s no poop november been going for y’all?

For me, it’s been going pretty smoothly, but the stomach aches are coming in. I just hope I don’t ♥♥♥♥ my pants in the middle of gym class like last year.

My number 1 tip is to never fart. That has turns to liquid real quick, and once that train starts, it don’t stop baby

[WARNING] ♥♥♥♥ inspection is NOT required at voting booths!!! Don’t be tricked like me!
So I was waiting in line to vote when all of a sudden this voting "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my voter registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my ♥♥♥♥ because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm voter identity. Because I though he was a voting official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I voted I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy voting!

A vent... I hate my huge balls. Whenever I try to run, they swing and slap me hard on the ass. Whenever I piss, the other guys in the bathroom stare at them. So today, I tried to put a bra on them to keep them in place. It was going well, until I took my pants off to change for gym. All the other boys noticed, and started to point and laugh. And then, one guy started to chant “Big balls! Big balls! Nananananana!”. Within twenty seconds, the whole locker room had joined in. By the time gym was over, the rumor had already spread. People kept bumping into me in the hallway and saying “Whoops! Sorry tittyballs!”. I’m crying onto my keyboard right now... I don’t think I can do this anymore.

When I was 9 I was really jealous that Mario got to date Peach so to my frustration out I turned on Mario Kart 64 and drove Mario off a cliff for 2 hours then when back to writing my fanfiction of me being Peach's bff and bf.

Minecraft, but he's torturing my ♥♥♥♥ and balls. In this video, I have to beat Minecraft while my friend is torturing my ♥♥♥♥ and balls. He has a humbler, a stretcher and can actively kick them at any time he wishes. Can I beat the Ender Dragon before my testicles are ruptured? Watch to find out. Also, according to Youtube statistics, only a small percentage of people who watch my videos are actually subscribed, so if you end up liking this video, consider subscribing. It's free and you can always unsubscribe. Enjoy the video.

If you want to be proud of a large animal you killed then you need to kill it with a spear.

Seriously where is the challenge in killing a Buffalo with a high caliber rifle round from long range? Congrats, the animal never saw it coming! Your supersonic lead blew its brains out from 300 yards with the flick of a finger. Man the ♥♥♥♥ up and fight the animal 1v1. It’s got horns, and you have got a spear. It has brawn, and you have brains. Test your agility against its brute strength. Cut its heart out and eat it raw. Then I might be impressed.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ seriously. I was just jacking it off to some porn and guess what?! I came across a video with a woman in it. A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ WOMAN. I inmediately knew this was the doing of those damn SJWs trying to force diversity into my entertainment. I could feel my masculinity decrease by the second so i clicked away and searched for a video with big sweaty strong men ramming their hips against each others round toned buttocks. Like every respectable man should dammit!

I just can't anymore. First they invade my videogames and now my porn? No, i won't let them. I declare war on every SJW out there. From now on i will exclusively jack off to porn with white male protagonists, and i urge you to do the same. That will teach them.

[smacks lips profusely] SO HOL UP HOL UP [steals a car] SO U BE SAYIN [gets jiggy wit it] SO HOL UP U BE SAYIN [eats a skittle] AYO SO [checks for nearest KFC] U BE SAYIN [collects welfare] HOL UP [licks teeth then smacks lips] AYO [does the crip walk] SO U BE SAYIN [opens up a 40 and pours some for his homies trayvon and michael brown]SO U BE SAYIN [blazes out] WE WUZ [goes to check in with his parole officer] WE WUZ [sucks air through teeth] AYO HOL UP WE WUZ [pulls up sagging pants] SO WE WUZ [instinctively looks around for the police]U SAYIN WE WUZ [faints and then gets up] SOM FINNA [grabs a chick's tts] SO WE WUZ [shouts at movie theater screen] SOM FINNA [chucks spear] AYO SOM FINNA [sets down cotton bale] HOL UP [strokes welfare check pensively] WE WUZ [throws up gang sign] SOM FINNA [swings from basketball hoop] WE WUZ [grabs dck and shuffles left and right] SO WE WUZ [participates in drive by shooting] HOL UP MUH N*GGA [rapes] U SAYIN WE WUZ [sells crack] KANGZ N ♥♥♥♥♥

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Ball cleveage shorts should be a thing.

I feel like society is ready.

I can imagine all sorts of cool outfits that show off my ball cleveage, for the office, for the pool, weddings and any sort of occasion.

Wearing ball cleavage shorts will allow us men to use our assets to flirt with women who are in power in hopes of gaining some unfair advantage over those who are less endowed.

There would be "wonder shorts" which push the balls up front and accentuate the cleavage. Like diamonds on a pedestal.

There would be a little hole in the shorts to let the ball cleavage poke through

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Why, yes, I am R.A.C.I.S.T:

Respect my friend's different beliefs

Adore the little quirks in their traditions

Care for my friends, no matter their skin color

Inform myself on what taboos I should never break

Smile when they speak their native tongues

The French must be purged from the Earth

𝕺𝖍 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝖌𝖔𝖉 𝕴 𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖎𝖉𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖞 𝖍𝖆𝖙𝖍 𝖘𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖚 𝖆 𝖕𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝖈𝖔𝖈𝖐 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖇𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖘 ...𝖕𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖑𝖊𝖙𝖊 𝖎𝖙. 𝕷𝖊𝖘𝖙 ... 𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖚 𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖎𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖐? 𝕳𝖆𝖍𝖆 𝕴 𝖏𝖊𝖘𝖙 .., 𝖉𝖊𝖑𝖊𝖙𝖊 𝖎𝖙...𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖊 𝖈𝖗𝖆𝖛𝖊..? ... 𝖍𝖆𝖍𝖆 𝖓𝖆𝖞, 𝕭𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝖎𝖙...𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖙?

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This kid is a blatant hacker. I believe he is hacking for the following reasons:

1. His bullets do more damage than mine
2. I didn't know he was there and he shot me when I wasn't paying attention
3. He always seems to not die when I am shooting at him, I NEVER MISS because I am the greatest CS:GO player of all time
4. He knifed me once
5. I lost the match and he caused me to derank
6. I did better than him during warm-up, so he clearly toggled on mid-match
7. His USP-S killed me in 1 shot despite me unloading my Glock in his general direction

Together, as a community, we need to band together against this type of behavior. It isn't right for a person like this to be able to win a competitive game that I deserved to win. Rest assured, my dad works at Valve and will have his account banned.

Local Disk (C:)
└📁Program Files (x86)
⠀└📁steam
⠀⠀└📁steamapps
⠀⠀⠀└📁common
⠀⠀⠀⠀└📁CSGO
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀└📁Skills
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀└⚠️This folder is empty
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀└📁 Aim
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀└⚠️This folder is empty

What if...🤔😏 we were both cows🐮🐄 in Minecraft🙈⛏ and Steve gave both of us wheat🤭🥵🌾 aHAaAhAAa! I’m joking, I’m joking!!😂🤪...unless ?😈...

watch Jojo's Bizarre Adventure you uncultured degenerates

yes

Yall ever just take a cold shower in the dark on all fours and groan pleasurably while pretending you're a wet rhino on the African savannah during the first rain in years?

Ok so my girlfriend has a "gay best friend" that shes always hanging out with more than me. Im not gay and theres nothing wrong with gays. He looks better than me and works out and is always hanging around girls. Well I suspected shes cheating on me with him even though hes so called "gay". She hangs out with him for hours and comes home and goes right to sleep. We havent had sex in like 3 months. So of course im suspecting hes not actually gay.

Im debating on confronting them and asking him to suck my ♥♥♥♥ to prove hes gay. Again im not gay at all but i think it would give me peace of mind if he proved hes gay plus ive grown sexually frustrated since my gf doesnt put out anymore. Killing two birds with one stone in a way.

What do you guys think? Should i ask my girlfriends "gay best friend" for a blowjob to prove hes gay? Again, im not gay.

I practice erotic pumpkin carving when my wife is at work. I borrowed against my 401k to start a savings account she doesn't know about. Every time she leaves, I run up to the corner store and buy a few pumpkins. Then I take them home and carve sexy things onto them. About an hour before her shift is up, I ditch everything into a trash bag and throw away the evidence in alternating dumpsters around the block. Some day I'd like to show them to her. I know she'd be blown away by the skills I've developed, but I can only make erotic carvings, and she doesn't have a taste for that. And if she knew I was doing this instead of looking for jobs, she would absolutely leave me. But it gives me a sense of purpose and has drastically lifted my spirits since I was fired from my last job. Sorry, I didn't plan for this to be so personal.

JP was here

Everyone believes Ant-Man could kill Thanos by shrinking, going up his ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, and expanding. I thought about this, and I can’t think of a worse death.. for Ant-man. Thanos is pretty tough, like can take some punches from the Hulk kind-of-tough, well his butthole and insides have to be hulk-level strong too.

The way I see it happening is Ant-man crawling up his butt, expanding and then whatever I can describe as the chunky human soup that would come flying out of Thanos’ ass from Ant-man trying to expand into something that just won’t budge.

What’s gru’s bra size tho

We all know Gru is the godly height of 14.5 feet tall and can move at a speed of 200 Meters per second. Based on average ♥♥♥♥ size, Gru’s penis is around 14 inches long. Also, Gru’s ♥♥♥♥ would weigh around 2 pounds considering the average weight of a ♥♥♥♥ is .77 lbs. If he swung his ♥♥♥♥ in a circular manner, it would have the centripetal acceleration of 72.57 meters per second. This means that gru can dickslap with the immense energy of 11,421 pounds per sq inch at a tip speed greater than 584415.58336974 MPH. In conclusion, Gru’s dickslap has enough energy to smash through 6” reinforced concrete and will cause a thunderclap as his ♥♥♥♥ breaks the sound barrier. I rest my case.

Holy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥. I want to bang the animal crossing dog so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the town hall I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sex with Isabelle. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Isabelle's tight dog ♥♥♥♥♥. I want her to have my mutant human/dog babies.

♥♥♥♥, my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ mom caught me with the neighbors dog. I'd dressed her in my sister's skirt and went to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my 3DS. I might not ever get to see Isabelle again.

Hello my friend, this is a moderator of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥™. We have noticed you haven't logged in for 4 weeks, we're just checking to see that everything is okay with our biggest fan. Since you visited us last time we've updated the Gay section with many videos we know you will enjoy. See you soon

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Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to ♥♥♥♥ it back out.

This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.

I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.

When I was in 3rd grade, I was obsessed with the sound that comes from slapping my ♥♥♥♥ side to side. Basically, you have to rapidly twist your torso back and forth, propelling the penis to and fro, creating that slapping effect (you have to be buck naked). I even once thought of forming a ♥♥♥♥-slapping gang; whenever we beat up somebody, we would throw him on the ground, surround him, strip naked, and torment him with our ♥♥♥♥ slapping noises. That sound is so perfect and crisp that I also thought of using it as a means of communication. Please don’t make fun of me for this because I was young and it was a long time ago. Thank

you just got gotten

Just because I want Yoshi to grab me with his wet sticky tongue, pull me into his gaping maw, swallow me whole, cover me in his stomach juices and slowly digest me as he rubs his growling tummy does not mean that I'm into vore

It's COCKtober 🍆🎃 u know what that means 👀👅 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ awareness month 😯🙆🏼👅 send this to 12 of ur closet hoes 👭😈 that love that ♥♥♥♥ 🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 🎃 THOT-O-WEEN 🎃is upon us !! If you get this message ✉️ you are queen 👸of the thots!!! Forward this to 7⃣ of the 🍆ThOtTiEsT🍆 thots 💁that you know will get some 👉👌 soon !!! If you don't, be prepared 🙍for 6⃣9⃣ days of bad luck ⚠️ 🍀