Lukas, 20, Switzerland

I am a terrorist with a simple lifelong dream
To plant a C4 bomb with my 5-strong team
So I got in a queue and waited my turn
Till it was time for my match to confirm
So as the game loaded in I shook with anticipation
Until shrieks of 'cyka' destroyed my feeling of elation
For to my dismay I'd been matched with a clan
Of russian patriots who were stalin's biggest fan
So as the warmup ended they declared 'RASH B'
Their microphones obnoxious and loud as can be
But as they stood in spawn with the timer counting down
On the clan leader's face there began to form a frown
He glared into my eyes with his crosshair on my head
And asked me if I'm russian, for if I'm not I should be dead
But as I replied 'da' I knew I was in a trap
As him and all his mates started spouting russian crap
And I didn't understand a word so I just stood there and waited
Knowing when the round started I was going to be baited
When I found myself alone in tunnels I knew I'd been tricked
But as they rushed out long their leader got picked
So they all crouched in pit with their A rush dream shattered
Not to mention their comrade, whose brains had been splattered
Then along came an enemy with aimhacks and walls
And the russians screamed 'CYKA, THIS GAME SUCKS BALLS'
So they abandoned the match and I was left all alone
With a team of dumb bots who were sadly quite prone
To rush CT spawn with a bizon SMG
And I thought to myself; That's enough CS for me.

By TheCatOfWar