Recent reviews by The Ape

If i hear another "sonic had a rough transition to 3D" i will go ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

How is this a "definitive edition"?
Mafia 1 remake IS the definitive edition, a whole ass modern reimagining of the original 2002 game in current gen,
THIS is literally the exact same game from 2010, but now it crashes in the main menu
how can you just lie like this in the title? This is even worse than Overwatch "2"
Played it only because the original Mafia 2 won't even launch for some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ reason

TOMMY, THEY'RE FROM SALIERI, RUN AWAY
TOMMYYYYYYYYY

We were on the verge of greatness... we were THIS close.
I have never played a game that screams "We ran out of money midway into production" like Sonic Frontiers does. They REALLY rushed the game after Chaos island and it's obvious SEGA did sonic team dirty AGAIN.
I am still mad. An actual 8/10 turned into a 6.
In conclusion: Install the New Genesis mod.

"I dont feel anything when music plays" mfs when they hear Battlefield 1 Lacrimosa for the first time

Daym

The actual Overwatch sequel

I can't play as the monkey 0/10

mfs when they hear Roll Call for the first time:

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣛⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣟⣛⣽⣿⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢿⣿⣧⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣯⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⢲⠌⠿⣷⠆⠀⢰⡮⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣻⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠶⠶⣶⣿⣛⣉⣹⣷⠿⠛⠉⠛⠻⣶⣝⢦⠘⣀⡀⢸⣷⠁⢼⣿⢻⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⢋⣵⣶⡄⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⠃⣽⣿⠂⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣷⡄⢷⣀⡃⣀⠈⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⠛⠛⠁⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣧⣙⣋⣁⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⣄⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣄⣰⣮⣀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⡴⠛⠛⠛⣻⣭⡙⢻⣿⡟⢿⣉⠉⠭⠉⠉⢸⡟⠷⣿⡍⠻⣿⣦⠉⣿⠀⢻⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣵⠋⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⢠⠀⣸⠁⡁⠀⠈⠃⢤⠀⠀⠀⢀⠴⠶⢀⣈⠀⣿⣿⣸⡇⣀⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣏⠀⠈⠁⠀⠳⠄⡈⢧⢹⡆⠇⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠠⡀⢦⡙⣆⣧⠟⢰⣿⣿⣾⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣆⣀⣀⣹⣶⣯⣷⣤⣀⣀⣤⣀⣰⣆⣱⣔⣓⣈⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⡿⡿⢿⡿⠛⠿⣿⣟⢛⣻⣿⣟⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢩⣿⡿⠿⢿⣶⣾⣇⣻⣷⣿⣶⣗⣿⣾⣷⣿⣿⠟⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣷⡐⠟⢻⡟⠛⠻⣿⡟⠛⠛⣿⠋⠉⢻⣏⣤⣿⣿⢿⡿⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠃⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣾⣷⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣶⣾⣿⠿⠋⠉⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⢿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⣴⣿⣷⣶⣾⣤⣈⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢉⣀⣐⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡄⡈⠀⡥⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

- Oh, what's that? You want me to write music for Halo 2? Ok, lemme just record literal sounds of Heaven real quick