Axmorn's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 4 May, 2022 @ 12:38pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2023 @ 1:32pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2023 @ 12:06pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2023 @ 9:30am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2023 @ 12:03pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2023 @ 8:35am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2023 @ 10:55am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 12 Jan @ 10:21am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 13 Jan @ 12:07pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 14 Jan @ 10:17am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2023 @ 1:50pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2023 @ 1:46pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2023 @ 3:38pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2023 @ 11:59am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2023 @ 8:23am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2023 @ 2:29pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2023 @ 12:28pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2023 @ 3:18pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2023 @ 2:25pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2023 @ 2:21pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2023 @ 9:03am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2023 @ 3:22pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2023 @ 11:27am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2023 @ 12:29pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2023 @ 2:59pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2023 @ 11:22am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2023 @ 3:23pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2023 @ 12:21pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 13 Jan @ 12:01pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2023 @ 1:28pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2023 @ 3:26pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2023 @ 11:21am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2023 @ 11:06am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 13 Jan @ 12:09pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2023 @ 8:19am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2023 @ 8:45am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2023 @ 3:30pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2023 @ 2:18pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2023 @ 1:52pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 11 Apr, 2023 @ 12:12pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2023 @ 9:11am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2023 @ 11:52am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2023 @ 11:41am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 15 Apr, 2023 @ 3:09pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 11 Apr, 2023 @ 11:44am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 11 Apr, 2023 @ 11:34am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2023 @ 8:49am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 9 Apr, 2023 @ 8:14am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 14 Jan @ 9:52am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2023 @ 1:27pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 8 Apr, 2023 @ 1:08pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 11 Apr, 2023 @ 11:55am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 11 Apr, 2023 @ 11:15am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2023 @ 12:25pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 11 Apr, 2023 @ 12:00pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

13 / 30

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

15 / 30

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

5 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30