This guy invited me to this yacht party the other week "Okay..." I thought, "pretty ambitious for a regular at the Frankston RSL". Imagine the look on my face when he name drops THE "xXZzAqU1nA5_c0LL3G3xXZz" clen. Mental. Then i show up at the yacht party and there, on the stage is Zuck and T-Pain singing their hit song "Get Low". Anyway, I'm getting carried away. This isn't a man to underestimate, that's all I'm saying.... +rep

I'm warning you partner,

We don't take kindly to your slime 'round these parts

Best Rigards

Stop selling kids fentanyl laced calcium!

Hello Ziraro,

It's been a while since you graduated so I just wanted to remind you to continue being the light of christ! No matter how well you can fast, remember that Jesus didn't eat for 40 days and 40 nights.

FaZe Up champ! - FaZe Centra

Today, I just got out of the ICU. A few weeks ago, Lewis offered me a taste of his "chili oil". Little did I know, he was referring to a new compound he had created, Carbon hydroiodolithide, or "CHILi" as the chemical symbols spell. This mix of Carbon, Hydrogen, Iodine, and Lithium immediately burned a hole in my stomach, putting my life in serious danger. It's not the first time I've had one of Lewis' unknown liquids, but it'll be the last!

---- FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE ----

In response to our ongoing investigation we received the following message.

"Dear Editor,

This is Ziraro speaking. I hope you're having fun trying to find my little bone. Well, I'll tell you where to find it. It's --

LQ PB SQV

Once you've solved it. Come to Princess Park at nighttime. You'll know what to do."

We call for all amateur cryptographers to help us solve this ongoing case.

Nic,
Toothdale Times