Quitting dating and going to the gym is a very slippery slope.

I quit dating and starting spending more time at the gym about 2 years ago. Once I started getting results I wanted to show them off right, so I started shaving most of my body hair including my chest. I liked the way it looked and continued to see better gains. Why not bump things up a notch? I started tanning regularly so you could see my definition better. The bros at the gym were very supportive. Always grabbing an arm or poking at my chest, telling me how amazing my gains are. I've been sucking ♥♥♥♥♥ for about a year now. Nothing makes your gains look better than a hot gleaming shot of man goo.

Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up.

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As a European it was always hard for me to understand American culture. What was fascinating for me is that they like bragging about their freedom which was weird, because I didn’t think that I have any less freedom. But after this game I finally understand it. NA is just so free.

hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that. It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

You influenced me to ♥♥♥♥ myself in the ass so hard that my ass ripped a hole in the fifth dimensional quadratic functionality of the reverse universe, causing a spatial collapse on the micro-scale that will eventually lead to the heat death of the universe at an exponential factor of x16 beyond what we had previously expected, is there anything you could offer as advice about this catastrophic situation?

Your profile gave me: Achondroplasia, Acne, AIDS, Albinism, Alcoholic hepatitis, Allergy, Alopecia, Alzheimer's disease, Amblyopia, Amebiasis, Anemia, Aneurdu, Anorexia, Anosmia, Anotia, Anthrax, Appendicitis, Apraxia, Argyria, Arthritis, Aseptic meningitis, Asthenia, Asthma, Astigmatism, Atherosclerosis, Athetosis, Atrophy, Bacterial meningitis, Barack Obama syndrome, Beriberi, Biebertitis, Black Death, Botulism, Breast cancer, Bronchitis, Brucellosis, Bubonic plague, Bunion, Bella killer, Calculi, Campylobacter infection, Cancer, Candidiasis, Carbon monoxide poisoning, Celiacs disease, Cerebral palsy, Chagas disease, Chalazion, Chancroid, Chavia, Cherubism, Chickenpox, Chlamydia, Chlamydia trachomatis, Cholera, Chordoma, Chorea, Chronic fatigue syndrome

So I went to a Strip Club in Greece the other night and guess who i saw there. It was Jay with hundreds of 5 dollar bills. So the Stripper goes in a hot pose, Jay smiles and pours himself a glass of OJ. Jay said "Welcome to the 5 Dollar Club" and they went into a private room. Not sure what happened then but i guess he gave her a brofist.

Hi, this is officer gabe newell, ceo of valve corporation. I have shortlisted your account as a potential candidate for our astronaut programme, in partnership with NASA and CS GO LOUNGE. This 5 week attachment will involve strenuous brain activity such as wasd pressing, mouse moving and spacebar spamming. Hope you are ready. Send me a butterfly fade trade offer as a sign of consent

You know, back around 2010 or so, I used to think 4Chan was funny. Just a bunch of offensive humor, no filter, etc. Little did I know that some of them were serious, that they'd help incite a new white supremacist movement in the US, welcome fascism with open arms, and ♥♥♥♥ on absolutely every tenet of what it means to be American. It's not shocking, little is these days, but it's sad, really ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sad. A collection of atheist internet trolls who support a celebrity bigot for the lulz, despite the fact that by doing so they're welcoming Christian Sharia law which will eliminate their net neutrality, their freedom of speech, and go on to ban and outlaw the tentacle porn they all seem to love. I'm not sure that I've ever seen a collection of people so consumed by self hate that they literally fought to be legislated into "normalcy".

+rep good player RL

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I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep.

Kill me

I dream of becoming a carrot. When I'm home alone I dig holes in the backyard and stand in them, put lettuce on top of my head from sun up to sun down. I would steal sun tan spray from stores and use it until I turned a bright orange. People tell me it's impossible for me to be a carrot but I know I can be anything I want to be

Hey guys, scarce here and today we have a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ CRAZY story, I might do a double upload today because there is SO MUCH stuff happening.
First story here is from a YouTuber called _ he is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HUGE YouTuber with 10 Subscribers! and he actually FELL OVER! That's right guys FELL OVER. This is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ CRAZY guys and his fans ACTUALLY LAUGHED. Yeah guys this is SO ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up he actually FELL OVER, It's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ CRAZY!

yo basically i was chilling with my turtles bro. yo dat turtle has no chill yo he like 'broooooo u need some milk u dizzyyy u dizzzzyyyy affff!!!' im there like 'yo show some mercy turtle bro u too savage doe.' turtle does some naruto roundhouse kick like 'stfu bruh u salty af' yo i didnt know what to do so yeah i gave the turtles some rough af handjobs.

My favorite character is Genji. I am learning Japanese to play Overwatch in Japanese with no subtitles, and one day I will move to Japan to become a pro gamer. Wish me luck in Japan!

m'lady just friendzoned me, most likely due to the fact that i am stuck in silver 5. yet women like her go for swaggers who are toxin and hold me back from my true potential at global elite where true gentlemen like you and me per say, belong.

I'm looking forwards to that m9 good luck

Will do m9 cheers. ill take pictures for you as well, even one of the VACume. Come visit the the VACticant hotel it will be fun.

also make sure to get your VACcination for malaria

Welcome to KQLYfornia enjoy your VACation!

Mate you haven't uploaded since last year what happened?

…….... (¯ O´¯)...
…….…... / | ............♫Best Wishes♫
……… ...*•♥•*...................♫ for a ♫
…… ... *♥♫♫♥*'...........♠♫Peaceful and Merry Christmas♫♠
… .... *♥•♦♫••♥* ................♫ and a... ♫
..... *♥☺♥☺♥☺♥* ........ ♠♫Happy New Year♫♠
.....*♥•♥#♠*♥#♥•♥* '
....*♥♫♥♥♫♥♥♫♥♫* '
...*♥♥☺♥♫♥♫♥☺♥♥*'
..*♥♥♣♫♥♣♥♥♣♥♫ ♣♥♥*'
'*♥♥♣♥♫♥♥♫♥♥♫ ♥♣♥♥*'
.......... ╬╬╬╬╬..........

☜♥☞☜♥☞☜♥☞☜♥☞☜♥☞☜♥☞☜♥☞☜♥☞☜♥☞☜♥☞♥☞♥☞
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lol

Well that's 1 thing added to the bucket list

I want to soundproof myself in foam so I can ride the bus and masturbate without anybody hearing me.

Totally didnt get that from the comments of syndicates vlog

You should go skydiving because, my dad always says, "Only two things fall from the sky bird ♥♥♥♥ and idiots."

Break one-nine. Big Box Holla Holla get Dolla here, hauling a freight shaker with a loada cold ones in the wagon down to Texarkana. I got twenty-eight hours to get this done, so I'm putting the hammer down. Anybody hearing this, shake the bushes and gimme your ten-twenty.

*FacePalm*

Feed your cat rat poison it's real good for them my cat loves it, it keeps foaming at the mouth but that is a good thing.

I have done that and can confirm this works

Oh for ♥♥♥♥ sake bod XD

One time I was jerking off and my grandma walked in..... I looked straight at her and said.....
Leaf a like if you enjoy what you're seeing. I then followed that with a HISSSSSS and continued pounding my beef log while maintaining eye contact until she left. I haven't seen my grandma since. It's been 9 months.

Sigh -_-

Amazing artists in this decade:

Ariana Grande
Nicki Minaj
Drake

Harry Styles
Iggy Azalea
Selena Gomez

Niall Horan
ASAP Rocky
Miley Cyrus
Ed Sheeran

Imagine Dragons
Sage The Gemini

Justin Bieber
Omarion
Hozier
Ne-Yo

Calvin Harris
Echosmith
Nickelback
Avicii

The first letter of these artists make someone that you don't see often but when u do they are amazing...


BUM BAH DUM DAHHHH

Hey swaglum, how you doing, I just wanted to let you know, i'm an ex-marine blackops spec ops ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ God here, and I have one simple thing for you, ok? If I was in a room with Adolf Hitler, Stalin, and the Russian csgo community, and I had one gun with two bullets, who would I shoot? Hmm... Tough one, not really, I would shoot the Russian csgo community twice, AND THEN PROCEED TO ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ CURB STOMP IT LIKE ISAAC CLARKE FROM DEAD SPACE.

Errm i dont know how i feel about this XD

theres NO bar too strong. NO mod too powerful. NO prison we cant escape. And when the time of our breakout comes, there will be no safe place for anyone that ever jailed or laughed about us. REVENGE OF THE PLEBS WILL COME!!! spread this message and you will receive mercy.

+rep 10/10 Really Good Trader And Player

"I havent seen any fish, the only fish I have seen is on my hero.. Ohh wait!!!" - Swaglum 02:50am 29/05/2015 playing Clicker Heroes

I am free of the rotting retarded nugget thanks the lord bod and the holy bibbalo

"If you are dead you are a rotting retarded nugget" - Bod 05:48am 27/05/2015. Post this on 10 friends steam profiles and you.... yes you will be safe from..... the rotting retarded nugget disease.

"If you are dead you are a rotting retarded nugget" - Bod 05:48am 27/05/2015. Post this on 10 friends steam profiles and you.... yes you will be safe from..... the rotting retarded nugget disease.