Recent reviews by im kinda real

man had this teammate "twomad" in ranked who wouldnt move at all terrible game bad matchmaking next time dont queue if ur afk

so fire

matchmaking error

Ok so since you find my knowledge of halo lore so funny here’s the entire history of the halo series: So long long ago the precursors were the dominant species in the galaxy, but they needed to select another species to take the mantle of responsibility, which is a thing, the precursors choose the ancient humans, which makes the forerunners jealous, so the forerunners start genociding the precursors, so the remaining precursors turn themselves into space dust, which they can do for some reason, anyway thousands of years later the humans find old ships of theirs controlled completely autonomously crashed somewhere, and they find the precursor space dust and feed it to their dogs, anyway after a few centuries of feeding corrupted space dust to their dogs they begin to develop mutations and eventually start canabalizing each other, after a few more centuries, this transfers to humans, and they start doing the same, so ancient humanity are in quite a dire situation, as dozens of human planets have been taken over by the infection, so they flee their area of space, going into forerunner territory, but the forerunners see this as an act of war, so the humans are now in between the forerunners and the flood, and are fighting both, good news tho, the humans find a way to defeat the flood, but at a heavy cost, ancient humanity sacrificed a 1/3 of their entire population and gave them a disease that would kill the flood after consuming them, so the humans defeated the flood, but not really, the flood just retreated deeper into space. But the human forerunner war continued, and the forerunners, having far better technology, won, as punishment humanity was devolved to the Stone Age, and placed back on earth, at the time called Erde Tryene, fast forward 12 thousand years, and the flood have slowly been returning for centuries, taking out planets on the outskirts of forerunner space, at this point, 300 forerunner planets have been consumed by the flood, but it’s not much concern because there are over 3 million forerunner to planets, but the forerunners are still working to defeat the flood, and Faber, the master builder, is making a weapon to defeat the flood, by killing everything else in the galaxy and removing the floods food, this is the only way they know how to defeat the flood because the humans refused to tell them before the end of their war how they defeated them. So over the next thousands of years the flood become a bigger and bigger threat, with the flood consuming hundreds of thousands of forerunner planets, and eventually, the forerunner AI, mendicant bias, the smartest AI ever made, is give control of the entire forerunner military, and then, after interrogating the primordial, the last surviving precursor for 43 years, mendicant bias decides that the flood are the next step in evolution, and betrays the forerunners. After that, the forerunners develop another contender class AI, offensive bias, who is now in control of the forerunner military. Because offensive bias knows the forerunners cannot win, it staged a final battle, which was actually a distraction for the didact, the former commander of the forerunner military, to fire the Halos, the only weapons that can defeat the flood. So after distracting the flood and making mendicant bias think it would win as the odds were 3 million to 1, the Halo array was fired, and all life in the galaxy was killed. Years later forerunner sentinels reseeded the galaxy brining every life form previously existing back to their home worlds, excluding themselves and the flood. 100,000 years later a war occurs between the Sangheili and San’ Shyum, the Two species both worship the forerunners as gods, but the San Shyum use forerunner technology, and the Sangheili see that as heresy. So they have a long war, which eventually ends in an alliance between the two, know as the covenant. Over time the covenant gain more species in their alliance, including the Jiralhanae, Kig Yar, Unggoy, and Lekgolo. In 2517, Dr Cathrine Halsey is given resources by the Office of Naval Intelligence (ONI) to develop super soldiers to fight against insurgency in the outer colonies. She thinks the perfect solider must be trained from a young age, so she kidnaps 150 of the very best genetically gifted 6 year olds across human controlled space. This is called the SPARTAN II program. Of those 150 only 48 survived augmentations. With 11 of the 48 being crippled by them. In 2525 humanity and the covenant make first contact when kig yar scavengers find a cargo ship and trace it back to planet Harvest. The prophet hierarchs of truth, mercy, and regret, discover the forerunners choose humans as the true inheritors of the mantle after they realized their mistakes and the consequences of them. Learning this and wanting to keep their power the prophets (San’ Shyum) declare war on humanity claiming they’re a blasphemous race that must be eliminated to start the Great Journey. The covenant believed that activating the halo rings is actually a path to god hood. Anyway humanity loses colony after colony to the covenant until in 2552 they find Reach, the military center of humanity. Before the planet is glassed Dr Halsey creates the smartest AI humanity ever created, Cortana, that AI is escorted to the Pillar of Autumn by what remains of Noble team. The ship flees the planet and is followed by a dozen covenant ships, while trying to escape using random slipspace jumps, the Pillar of Autumn accidentally stumbles upon Alpha halo, this is where the first halo game begins. The Pillar of Autumn crash lands on Alpha halo after suffering damages. While on the installation spartan S-117, the Master Chief, runs into the monitor if the instillation, 343 Guitly Spark, who informs him he needs to activate the rings, as it’s revealed the flood is on the ring and must be contained, but when Cortana realizes activating the ring will kill them all, so Master chief refuses to activate the ring, making 343 upset and hostile, Master chief, realizing no one is left of the crew of the Pillar of Autumn, and there being 3 hostile factions with him on the ring, decides to overheat the nuclear reactor of the Pillar of Autumn, the blast of which would destroy the ring, eliminating all of chiefs problems. He destroys the ring and escapes. Following these events Thel Vadam, the supreme commander of the fleet of Particular Justice is stripped of his rank and branded heretic for his failure to protect the sacred ring, he becomes the arbiter. Soon after, the prophet hierarch Regret, accidentally discovers Earth, and begins the battle of New Mombasa. The prophets ship enters slipspace and the UNSC Trapped in Amber follows, the 2 ships arrive at Delta halo, and Master Chief beats the old man in the wheelchair (prophet of regret) to death before jumping into a lake. Afterward Master Chief and Thel Vadam, now the Arbiter are both taken by the Gravemind, a hive mind central intelligence of the flood, he sends them both to different locations to do some ♥♥♥♥. (You’ll now notice I’m losing interest in this long ass joke as I’ve been doing it for 2 hours while watching Netflix) After the death of the prophet of regret the prophets give the position of the elites (Sangheili) to the brutes (Jiralhanae). This sparks the beginning of a civil war within the covenant. Then some ♥♥♥♥ happens and the Covenant holy city High Charity is consumed by the flood, along with the prophet of mercy, the elites have left the covenant, and allied themselves with humanity. Tartarus, chieftain of the brutes, is killed by the Arbiter, and Master Chief hitches a ride back to Earth on a forerunner dreadnought, the prophet of truths capital ship. Sgt. Johnson and the Arbiter regroup with Chief and do some more ♥♥♥♥. At this point the flood is on Earth and as a favor shipmaster Rtas Vadam commanders his ships to glass half of Africa to prevent the flood from spreading. Then Chief and arbiter go to the Ark, where the e

halo W

still dont know how to play

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

LETS GOOOOO

hogsmoss

truly the most epic of games.