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R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Upplåst 24 sep, 2016 @ 22:04

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Upplåst 25 sep, 2016 @ 1:16

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.
Upplåst 26 sep, 2016 @ 1:26

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Upplåst 8 apr, 2018 @ 0:00

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Upplåst 24 sep, 2016 @ 22:19

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Upplåst 26 apr, 2024 @ 20:02

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Upplåst 25 sep, 2016 @ 1:29

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.
Upplåst 25 sep, 2016 @ 18:16

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.
Upplåst 26 sep, 2016 @ 2:41

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.
Upplåst 29 sep, 2016 @ 23:40

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.
Upplåst 15 maj, 2017 @ 18:28

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.
Upplåst 15 maj, 2017 @ 20:04

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Upplåst 17 maj, 2017 @ 19:15

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Upplåst 30 jul, 2017 @ 23:17

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
Upplåst 25 sep, 2016 @ 1:37

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
Upplåst 14 maj, 2017 @ 20:35

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
Upplåst 10 sep, 2021 @ 15:06

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Upplåst 27 sep, 2016 @ 14:35

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Upplåst 14 maj, 2017 @ 20:44

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Upplåst 9 sep, 2021 @ 8:51

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Upplåst 26 sep, 2016 @ 2:24

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Upplåst 10 sep, 2021 @ 18:30

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Upplåst 14 maj, 2017 @ 20:51

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Upplåst 25 sep, 2016 @ 18:00

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
Upplåst 26 sep, 2016 @ 21:06

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Upplåst 25 sep, 2016 @ 1:51

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Upplåst 24 sep, 2016 @ 23:22

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Upplåst 26 sep, 2016 @ 1:26

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Upplåst 26 sep, 2016 @ 20:41

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Upplåst 11 sep, 2021 @ 14:34

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Upplåst 10 sep, 2021 @ 13:57

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Upplåst 13 okt, 2016 @ 21:03

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Upplåst 16 maj, 2017 @ 19:07

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Upplåst 12 apr, 2018 @ 21:56

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Upplåst 2 maj, 2024 @ 19:18

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Upplåst 2 maj, 2024 @ 19:18

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Upplåst 2 maj, 2024 @ 19:18

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Upplåst 12 apr, 2018 @ 22:19

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Upplåst 26 sep, 2016 @ 1:26

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Upplåst 27 sep, 2016 @ 14:28

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Upplåst 25 sep, 2016 @ 14:38

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Upplåst 26 sep, 2016 @ 15:06

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Upplåst 26 apr, 2024 @ 19:40

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Upplåst 10 sep, 2021 @ 13:53

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Upplåst 10 sep, 2021 @ 13:57

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.
Upplåst 2 maj, 2024 @ 17:47

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Upplåst 24 sep, 2016 @ 22:14

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Upplåst 7 apr, 2018 @ 22:37

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Upplåst 25 sep, 2016 @ 1:00

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.
Upplåst 25 sep, 2016 @ 1:15

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.
Upplåst 24 sep, 2016 @ 22:03

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.
Upplåst 24 sep, 2016 @ 22:09

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Upplåst 25 sep, 2016 @ 1:31

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.
Upplåst 26 sep, 2016 @ 2:06

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Upplåst 11 sep, 2021 @ 18:43

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Upplåst 25 sep, 2016 @ 1:22

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Upplåst 2 aug, 2017 @ 19:05

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Upplåst 16 maj, 2017 @ 19:12

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.
Upplåst 18 apr, 2018 @ 17:19

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Upplåst 27 apr, 2024 @ 19:50

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Upplåst 27 apr, 2024 @ 20:07

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Upplåst 11 sep, 2021 @ 18:36

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Upplåst 6 sep, 2021 @ 18:56

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.
Upplåst 26 sep, 2016 @ 13:59

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Upplåst 27 apr, 2024 @ 20:59

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Upplåst 24 sep, 2016 @ 23:04

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.
Upplåst 17 maj, 2017 @ 19:16

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.
Upplåst 27 jul, 2017 @ 15:34

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.
Upplåst 27 jul, 2017 @ 17:21

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.
Upplåst 29 jul, 2017 @ 20:15

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Upplåst 31 jul, 2017 @ 21:17

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.
Upplåst 27 jul, 2017 @ 15:15

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.
Upplåst 3 maj, 2024 @ 18:22

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.
Upplåst 27 jul, 2017 @ 16:00

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.
Upplåst 9 maj, 2024 @ 18:44

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.
Upplåst 27 jul, 2017 @ 17:52

Ode to Eddings

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.
Upplåst 11 maj, 2024 @ 19:45

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.
Upplåst 9 maj, 2024 @ 18:45

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Upplåst 3 maj, 2024 @ 20:23

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.
Upplåst 31 jul, 2017 @ 21:35

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Upplåst 2 aug, 2017 @ 21:15

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Upplåst 7 maj, 2024 @ 17:42

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.
Upplåst 31 jul, 2017 @ 21:11

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!
Upplåst 27 apr, 2024 @ 16:59



Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)