Grimprovise's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 4:08pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 4:36pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 5:44pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2014 @ 2:46pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2014 @ 2:22pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 4:39pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 5:42pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 6:33pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 7:57pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 8:48pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 9:57pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 11:48pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 7:42pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 6:29pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2014 @ 5:25pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2014 @ 2:26pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 6:58pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 10:46pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 4:10pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 8:05pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 11:06pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 9:33pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2014 @ 2:05pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 8:12pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 7:06pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2014 @ 2:08pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2014 @ 2:21pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 9:31pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2014 @ 2:41pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2014 @ 2:24pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 4:26pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 4:43pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 4:44pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 11:11pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 7:09pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 4:04pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 4:46pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 7:47pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2014 @ 2:24pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 28 Jun, 2014 @ 2:22pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2014 @ 11:50pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2016 @ 8:55pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 11 Apr, 2017 @ 8:52am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

11 / 30

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

13 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

0 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

1 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

15 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

30 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

22 / 30