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35 of 35 (100%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

CAT WRANGLER

50 kills using cat.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

ENTOMOLOGIST

50 kills using bees.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

ARSONIST

150 kills using fire.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

DANNY TREJO

100 kills using machete in melee.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

PSYCHO DUNDEE

50 kills using boomerang machete.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

REAL AMERICAN

Kill/incapacitate 235 terrorists.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

CAMELBACK

Piss 100 gallons of urine.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

PERSONAL JESUS

Beat game with zero kills.n(zombies and bosses don't count)
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

SUCKTASTIC!

Suck up 500 items with the shop vac.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

DON'T TAZE ME BRO

Taze 200 victims.
Unlocked 17 Jul, 2013 @ 7:12pm

T.J. HOOKER

Arrest 200 perps.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

NEUROSURGEON

300 headshot/decap kills.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

PETA CHAIRMAN

Kill no animals in one playthrough.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

SCHWARZENEGGER

200 kills using M-60.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

STALLONE

Complete game using only melee.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

EASTWOOD

Complete game using only the pistol.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

I AM THE LAW

Complete Good path without falling off.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

KAVORKIAN

Euthanise 30 elderly folks.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

JACK THOMPSON WAS RIGHT

Kill 1000 unarmed bystanders.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

EMO

Injure yourself.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

DADDY NEVER LOVED ME

Complete game killing only males.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

WOLVERINES R GHEY

50 badgersaw kills.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

PRODUCT RECALL

Destroy 50 cars.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

PROPERTY DAMAGE

Smash 50 windows.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

THERE IS NO SPOON

Spend 900 seconds or more in catnip bullet time.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

FAIL ZOMBIE

Respawn 20 times.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

DO NOT PUSH THE BUTTON!

Disobey orders, given to you, and see what happens.
Unlocked 16 Jul, 2013 @ 5:14am

THE CHOICE WAS YOURS!

Choose path for the first time.
Unlocked 16 Jul, 2013 @ 6:38pm

COMMIES GO HOME!

Make Venezuela peacemakers go home.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

SCOFIELD

Escape from prison.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

REPO MAN

Return Thegways to the owner
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

SAYANARA, TREE HUGGERS

Arrest eco zealots leader.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

ALL PERPS MUST DIE!

Take out all the criminal scum infesting Catharsis!
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

AIN'T GOT COJONES!

Finish your business with Krotchy.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am

SPECIAL OLYMPIAN

Beat the game once. No restrictions apply. Everyone's a winner.
Unlocked 4 Jul, 2014 @ 7:24am