Senaste recensioner av Co0kie

The moment this game hit my library I knew it was going to be life changing. Before this game I was a sad lonely loser with no friends. Now its more of the same but I have 100% completed this eye-opening experience. I wish I had one of those memory pens from MIB so I can use it on myself and replay this masterpiece for the first time again.

mario brothers

its dukening time

I can finally pose my favorite Half-Life 2 characters in sexual poses.
Thank you JBMod

I would have given this game a "Mixed" review if steam ever implemented it but for now I cannot recommend it, for my kind of playstyle anyways.
Ill start off with a few questions. Did you enjoy the sandbox elements of Boneworks? Did you hate trying to find all of the weapons scattered around the map, then having to replay some of the levels because you coudnt carry all of them? If yes, I would strongly recommend this game for you, however, if you preferred the exploration and the campaign from Boneworks, I recommend you buy this game when it goes on sale.
(minor spoilers for this next part)
5 out of the 14 levels are levels kind of like the ones in Boneworks, the rest of the levels are just small minigames that get put into the extra modes when you finish them anyways. The space one is especially bad because not only do you use the absolute worst avatar in the entire game, you have to walk all the way across the map just to end it, and with nothing to fight, nothing to do.
Another major problem is the loading times. While yes, Boneworks had the exact same issue, this game is on another level. The main menu takes almost entire minute to load, and there is nothing on the main menu except the options. Every time you want to go back to the hub to change gamemodes or just mess around in a different world, it can take up to (what feels like) 5 minutes.
The avatar system is alright. I never used any other characters besides the fast one, the heavy one, and the tall one. The other ones are just kind of useless. First of all I want to state how much i hate the small one. It is the most unfun avatar to use in any situation, even for the 1 puzzle it was designed for, I used the light character for it and had a much more fun experience. The strong one was cool until you got Heavy, and the light one, as stated previously, was only really used for a couple of puzzles then never again.
I dont hate this game, but these are issues that bugged me throughout the entire experience. The game ended way too fast because of my first point, the load times make up for 50% of my entire playthrough and the avatars is not as exciting as it first might have been. Like I said, I would have given this game a "Mixed" if steam ever made it a thing, but It could be because I was way too hyped and the end just kind of disappointed me, or im just a whinny little ♥♥♥♥♥, but I dont know. I have opened up the comments so some of you can bring up some counterpoints to maybe change my opinion.

OH, DID U GET THE BROOM CLOSET ENDING?? THE BROOM CLOSET ENDING WAS MY FAVORITE!1

Instead of playing changed, how about you change your life and get some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ instead

I am way too scared of the headcrab spider things and teleporting dudes to the point of me screaming to death while my friends spectate me through discord

Here's something you MUST DO everytime you play this game
1. Pick up the sniper rifle
2. Aim at Adam
3. Laugh

Like the title, I quite literally fell to the floor after having to fight a number of bosses that you have to crouch for