gf is prego

we like to get kinky anyways

one night things get particularly saucy

i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights

wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period

i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering

ohshitohshitohshitohshit

i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital

she's still bleeding everywhere

by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent

oh ♥♥♥♥, she looks like she's in a vegetative state

storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything

he takes one look at ther and says

"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"

"WHY THE ♥♥♥♥ NOT???"

"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"

Let’s say, you’ve been a bad girl. Let’s say, hypothetically, you’ve been a naughty girl even, ok, and if you were a naughty girl you would also be my dirty little slut right? Then hypothetically speaking you would be my little cumslut. Now let’s say that you’re also daddy’s girl, now that we’ve established you’re both a bad girl and daddy’s girl, then I believe you’d agree with me when I say that you deserve a spanking, am I not correct? A bad girl deserves a spanking and as I am daddy, you are my girl, so I am the one who must provide punishment.

i looked over this profile in 5 godamn seconds and it took me that long to realize what a massive ♥♥♥♥♥♥ you are. i mean who has that much disposable income to spend on chuck e cheese level ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, you must have low functioning autism or downs syndrome to get that much money from disability and welfare at the same time. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, i mean really are you that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ autistic to waste that much ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ money for a stupid number and ♥♥♥♥ that noone cares about to make yourself look like a shining ♥♥♥♥♥♥ instead of a regular one? i mean really jesus christ almighty you must be a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ waste of space in real life.

-rep, Boy that's Bill Clinton