forgive my english,i am Asian
I come to study clothing and fashion in an American university.
I am here little time and i am under very hard stress. i am gay also and this is very difficult for me
I am a very religion person. I never acted to be gay with other men before. But after i am here 6 weeks i am now with my friend together who is gay also. He showed me American fashion and then we kiss.
We sex together. I had never before told my mother about gay because i am very shame.
As i ♥♥♥♥♥♥ this American boy,it was a good time but also i felt so guilty.
I felt extremely guilty as I had orgasm. I felt so guilty that I picked up my telephone and called my Mother in homeland. I awaken her. It was too late for me to stop ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ from sex.
I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yelled to her, "I AM ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ FROM SEX
!" (in native language). She say what? I say "I AM ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ FROM SEX!"again and she said you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO,I AM ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ FROM SEX WITH A MAN, I AM IN ASS, I ♥♥♥ IN ASS" and my mother was very angry with me. She got too scared to say a word.
I hung up the phone and felt very embarrass. My friend was also very embarrass.
I was guilty and felt very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? How my life would be?If my Mother still welcome me back to home?
Then he brought me coffee and smiled.He said he gave all his love to me.
Holding that warm cup above my heard.I wish i could be with him until my last day.
We dreamt a new life and some place to be at peace
I dont know how Americans treat ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ as.but in my hometown, people are blinkered and think it ingratitude to my parents if I dont have a son to carry on my family name.
My Mother kept on phoning me,ask me to go home and get married with a local girl.
She also told me my Father was in bad conditon and sometimes caughed out of blood.
What should i do?