All Class:
-----Prinny Machete (which i TOTALLY didn't think was just a cosmetic and ignored adding to x10 until now. totally)
Does the same thing as the ham shank now.
Cancels Fall Damage
Particle Effect
Crit Kills Gib

Scout:
Is a parachute. Wait... This isn't april fools. Nevermind.
-----Crit-A-Cola:
No Change
-----Soda Popper:
No Change
-----Shortstop:
Alt fire to knock people across the map. DIDNT WORK NEVERMIND. BUT WLIU IS WORKING ON THIS REAL HARD SO THERES STILL HOPE!
Removed healing bonus
Reduced Knockback penalty to 200%, down from 400%
-----Sun On A Stick:
Immune to fire while deployed

Soldier:
-----Righteous Bison:
Testicles removed. Is now only Totally Radical Bison.
-----Disciplinary Action:
Kinky
-----Rocket Jumper:
Now strawberry flavored

Sniper:
-----Sydney Sleeper:
When fully charged, or when making a headshot, now applies Jarate in a 10x radius of the normal sleeper. DIDNT WORK NEVERMIND.

Heavy:
-----Huo Long Heater:
Uses 40 ammo per second to power the RING. OF. FIRE... Down from 60/s.
-100% Dmg Penalty
+250% Dmg Bonus Vs Flaming People. (Sorry Elton)
Now referred to as "Huo Long Heater" in the code instead of "Huo Long Heatmaker"
Reduced ring of fire pulse damage to 120, down from 150.
-----Buffalo Steak Sandvich:
Added Barbecue Sauce
Fixed Dmg taken multiplier being vanilla, instead of 250%

Spy:
-----Enforcer:
+2 to French.

Pyro:
-----All Flamethrowers:
-20 Seconds to Marshmallow Cooking Time
-----Manmelter:
Removed Hidden Fire Rate Penalty

Medic:
-----Quick-Fix:
Reduced Ubercharge Built Rate to 150%, down from 250%.
-----Overdose:
Raised speed bonus to 200%, from 100%
Increased Damage Penalty to 150%, up from 100% (Negative damage!?)

Demoman:
-----Iron Bomber:
Now the Ron Bomber. Fires Miniature Ron Swansons.
-----Quickiebomb Launcher:
Removed 40 second fizzle time on stickies.
-----The Sticky Jumper:
Insults you when you aren't listening

Engineer:
-----Widowmaker:
+100% Dmg Bonus Vs Sentry Target
-----Eureka Effect:
Reduced Metal Pickup penalty to 50%, down from 70%
Teleporters cost 500% less metal. THATS RIGHT. BUILD TELEPORTER. GET METAL.
-----Short Circuit:
Johnny 5 is alive.

your welcome

So. We're still working hard behind the scenes, getting this update ready for your guys.


Here's what we got so far.

All changes are subject to change, which are then themselves subject to further change at a moment's notice.


Scout:
Is a parachute. Wait... This isn't april fools. Nevermind.
-----Crit-A-Cola:
20 second marked for death debuff upon expiration of the soda.
-----Soda Popper:
Now caffeine free
-----Shortstop:
Alt fire to knock people across the map.
Removed healing bonus
Reduced Knockback penalty to 200%, down from 400%
-----Sun On A Stick:
Immune to fire while deployed

Soldier:
-----Righteous Bison:
Testicles removed. Is now only Totally Radical Bison.
-----Disciplinary Action:
Kinky
-----Rocket Jumper:
Now strawberry flavored

Sniper:
-----Sydney Sleeper:
When fully charged, or when making a headshot, now applies Jarate in a 10x radius of the normal sleeper

Heavy:
-----Huo Long Heater:
Uses 40 ammo per second to power the RING. OF. FIRE... Down from 60/s.
-100% Dmg Penalty
+250% Dmg Bonus Vs Flaming People. (Sorry Elton)
Now referred to as "Huo Long Heater" in the code instead of "Huo Long Heatmaker"
Reduced ring of fire pulse damage to 120, down from 150.

Although this sounds completely useless, you'll probably one shot anyone that is on fire. A WEAPON TO SURPASS METAL GEAR.
-----Buffalo Steak Sandvich:
Added Barbecue Sauce
Fixed Dmg taken multiplier being vanilla, instead of 250%

Spy:
-----Enforcer:
Unknown.

Pyro:
-----All Flamethrowers:
-20 Seconds to Marshmallow Cooking Time
-----Manmelter:
Removed Hidden Fire Rate Penalty

Medic:
-----Quick-Fix:
Reduced Ubercharge Built Rate to 150%, down from 250%.
-----Overdose:
Raised speed bonus to 200%, from 100%
Increased Damage Penalty to 150%, up from 100% (Negative damage!?)

Demoman:
-----Iron Bomber:
Now the Ron Bomber. Fires Miniature Ron Swansons.
-----Quickiebomb Launcher:
Removed 40 second fizzle time on stickies.
-----The Sticky Jumper:
Insults you when you aren't listening

Engineer:
-----Widowmaker:
+100% Dmg Bonus Vs Sentry Target
-----Eureka Effect:
Reduced Metal Pickup penalty to 50%, down from 70%
Teleporters cost 500% less metal. THATS RIGHT. BUILD TELEPORTER. GET METAL.
-----Short Circuit:
Johnny 5 is alive.


The update isn't live yet as we still have work to do. Feedback is appreciated but lets be honest here, I'll probably just ignore it.

There are a lot of changes, and these things... They take time.

https://www.reddit.com/r/tf2/comments/4rrrfm/major_tf2_update_for_7716_7816_utc_meet_your/


It will take a few days / week or so to get the new stats ready and do what little balance / playtesting we do around here to get things working.


Hang in there folks. In the meantime, blame Master Luigi. He's an acceptable scapegoat.

Finally Valve managed to find the way to detect ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.
And here is the best part: the devs of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ are QUITTING!!

Huzzah!