A place faraway, in a different world, close to home yet far from mainstream, where not all is as it appears...

I work as a janitor cleaning office buildings. It's a pretty ♥♥♥♥♥♥ exhausing job that doesn't even pay minimum wage, but it's enough to keep me in Chico I guess. There are three things that are kinda interesting about it though.

One, pay is based on how fast you work, so the faster you work, the higher percentage of minimum wage you get. So as I move from room to room, I gotta pace myself and make sure not to slow down, while still doing a good enough job not to get fired and while also managing cord lengths and stuff.

Two, I don't even have to be to work until like 1:30pm. Shifts go until 8pm, but hey, I'm a night owl, so for me it's a lot better than waking up at 6am. They work these hours because cleaning's generally easier when employees have gone home, and running vacuums and stuff when people are on the phone is kind of annoying, so the later hours just work better.

And three, they had me sign a pretty extreme medical-release notice, and I asked why, like I'm pretty sure I won't get dismembered from just working around checmicals and stuff. And they told me that one of the buildings they vaccuum after hours is haunted. HAUNTED. They told me that animal-esque ghosts come out of the walls after the employees leave for the day. Apparently they get more and more violent as the night progresses; in the beginning they might pop in and just watch me for a while, but if I take too long getting my job done, the chance of them biting my face off increases.

Come on, really? Ghost stories? I've lived 20+ years of my life across the street from a cemetary, I learned how to ride my bike in there and I walk my dog in there regularly, if ghosts exist, I definitely would've seen one by now. I can't believe not being superstitious is a job qualification now. Oh well, I mean, I got the job, no one else got it before me, so I can't complain. http://i.imgur.com/PgLf1Eq.jpg The vacuum they let me use even looks like something from Ghostbusters, it's pretty rad.

Hmm.

...On second thought, I think I think I'll take that job at the florist's instead. Because ♥♥♥♥ ghosts, I ain't havin' that ♥♥♥♥.

(Programmers, call me, we'll make millions.)