J.U.M.P

Greetings Agents, Generals, CE Mages, Great Warriors and the like,

It is with deep regret that I inform you all of the state of our war with the Pirates of Perfection. Very recently we had dropped our guard and moved most of our forces away from the salt coast in response to internal affairs in Pontiff's Closet. We have been busy lately. Focusing on improving our strategies, supplies and munitions.
We however could not foresee that from doing this we had carelessly left the coastline exposed and vulnerable to invasion. Not too long ago I had received a disturbing report from our scouts. It seems in the few months we had been absent from the coast defense zone the Pirates had docked and staged their main camp there.
We only caught wind of this after the fact that they had sieged and raided multiple villages surrounding said coastline. Normally in reaction to this we would send out a task force to deal with this fodder. In the past we had fought long battles and witnessed many of their tricks. We destroyed them in the end and sent them fleeing into the wilderness.
I'm afraid it won't be so easy this time. Part of the report that came in is that they seem to have banded together with the sweaty N Clan and have learned how to integrate the powers of the ancient CE scrolls with their pathetic self made Pirate Perfection tomes.
These combined make a deadly combination of sweaty spells that have been said to cause the following... Crash games, corrupt save files, instantly down the whole party, cause massive fps drops from spawning in items and many many more exploits.

My Fellow agents when I took this position as your commander I always did what I could to protect our organization as well and Pontiff's holy backyard. We have not been attacked yet by these scoundrels but if we wait and remain idle they will come at us full force.
By then there would be nothing we could do to save ourselves. I have gone through the scenarios hundreds of times but I've only been left with one option. Many of you may agree with this plan and many of you will disagree with this plan. I can assure you however this plan will succeed.
With our fortifications impenetrable in Pontiff's penthouse N Clan had moved east and after some asking around it would seem a faction that calls themselves The Yellow Turbans have taken up arms against them.
They are a group of farmers and settlers that had abandoned their prior ruler for a secluded life away from oppressive rule. I've heard many stories about their mystic ways of bending nature itself to their defense. In times like these any allies are a welcome sight and it would seem they despise those bandits as much as we do. I had already sent a proposition for an alliance and got a response very quickly. They have agreed to our terms as have we to theirs. They had also sent this video to us as proof of their sincerity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RA9lGcYom9k

It would seem they have a signature power they call the "Stink Tornado" that engulfs the essence of trash gameplay everywhere and disperses it at the enemy essentially using their own weapon against them. They have already sent two of their strongest and most famed Officers that go by the names of Zhang Bao and Zhang Liang to our HQ. These two single handedly drove back N Clan and even killed one of N Clan's sweat chiefs. This is an impressive feat especially with a force of commoners.
Agents I ask that you welcome these warriors to our home with open arms and take the time to show them the ropes and how we do things at JUMP. We now have a smoking gun at defeating the Pirates once more. Once we drive them out of the land we shall pursue them to their land and destroy them once and for all!

There comes a time when every battle must be decided.... and we shall be the onces to make the call. God speed agents and as always.. Lets do this.