I want to kill myself.

lifechanging

ASUKA: Where am I?

SHINJI: This is the 'me' which exists in your mind, Asuka.

ASUKA: And also, this is the 'me' which exists in Shinji's mind, at the same time.

// This is the standard intro. A separation of reality. People are made up of the perceptions of others.

The Case of Asuka Langley Sohryu, Part 1

SHINJI: What do you want, Asuka?

YOUNG ASUKA: I wanna live by myself! I don't want my Papa, and my Mama! I'll live by myself! And then, I won't cry any more!

// Here is typical Asuka proclaiming herself to be fiercely independent. We actually get to see the reason for it though here, which most people would have guessed, and it is a fairly obvious tact to take, but Asuak states here explicitly. She wants to be independent, to be strong, because she doesn't want to cry, she doesn't want to be hurt. It is her way with dealing with the issue of trust and pain that people can cause her.

(Young Asuka crying )

ASUKA: But I'm still crying! Why am I crying?

// Yet she still realised that the way she goes about doing it doesn't solve all her problems. She isn't happy. She still gets hurt. She still is crying.

ASUKA'S STEP-MOTHER: I'm sorry... I just don't like her.

ASUKA'S FATHER: What happened to you, the "able doctor"?

ASUKA'S STEP-MOTHER: I told you, I'm a human being before I'm a doctor.

// She previously "told him" back in Episode 22 when talking about if God sees humans as just dolls.

ASUKA'S FATHER: But how can a trained person like you--

ASUKA'S STEP-MOTHER: She acts too much like an adult! And she rejects me absolutely! Sometimes... She even scares me! Have you had such a feeling with her?

ASUKA'S FATHER: No. And in any case, you have now become Asuka's mother.

ASUKA'S STEP-MOTHER: I'm your wife before that!

ASUKA'S FATHER: Both duties are concurrent.

ASUKA'S STEP-MOTHER: In a social perspective, yes, but you can't quit being her father. But I can quit being her mother, anytime.

ASUKA'S FATHER: Well, you could say so...

// This is a bit of an aside, but it does give insight to how Asuka's attitude at a very young age affects other people. Even when she was very young her efforts to be independent, to not rely on anyone else scared away her step-mother.

YOUNG ASUKA: No, Mama! Don't leave me! I'll be good, promise! Don't stop being my mother! Don't ignore me!! No, Mama! Don't kill me!!

KYOUKO: Your Papa hates your Mama. He doesn't need me, anymore... No. He didn't love me, to begin with. So let's die together, because he doesn't want us. He didn't need me, at all. And he doesn't want you, either, Asuka.

YOUNG ASUKA: I'm not wanted?! I'm not worth anything?!

KYOUKO: Die with me...

YOUNG ASUKA: No!! I am not your doll!! I'll think by myself, and live by myself!!

// This is obviously where Asuka gets her aversion to Dolls, and thus to Rei. Her mother talked to a doll and treated it like Asuka, she also in the end wanted Asuka to die with her, and told Asuka some very horrible things. Even for a mentally unstable person I think that Kyouko is pretty stuffed up to tell her daughter than she isn't wanted, that she is worthless. Anyway this seems to be the start of Asuka's efforts to be dependent any nobody but herself.

ASUKA: ...And then, my mother was hanging from the ceiling. She... looked so happy.

ASUKA: But I hated how she looked. I don't want to die! I don't want to disappear! ...I hate this! I hate -- boys! I hate my father, and my mother! I hate -- everyone! Nobody cares about me, nobody stays with me!!

// This is what is all comes down to. She is Alone. Nobody ever stays with her. She hates it, and she hates the pain it causes.

What does she really wish?

ASUKA: So I don't want to depend on anybody. ...But I hate it, at the same time! It's a pain! I don't want to be alone! I don't wanna be alone, I DON'T WANNA BE ALONE!!!

// Here is the problem, and Asuka realised it. She wants to be independent, yet she sees that her strong willed attitude causes people to move away from her, to eventually leave her alone, and she really doesn't want that at all.

SHINJI: Don't leave me.

MISATO: Don't ignore me.

ASUKA: Don't kill me!

The Femboys are Nice too.